The first word my son said was Dada. I spent every waking moment feeding, burping, cuddling, bathing and changing him, but he still said Dada first. What the hell?
Soon, my son picked up a decent vocabulary for a toddler. Dr. Seuss’ ABC book was our favorite and we read it every day. “Big A, little a, what begins with A? Aunt Annie’s alligator. A a A.” Like a parrot, he would repeat everything I said. Great, right?
One day while driving C home from nursery school, a bike swerved in front of me and forced me to slam on my brakes. In a voice reminiscent of something from The Exorcist, C said “Oh, f*ck it!” I slammed on my brakes a second time and turned around half expecting to see a rotating head and pea soup projectile, but there was angelic looking C with a big smile on his face. “What did you say sweetie?”He said it again, clear as day. “Oh, f*ck it!”
I don’t know what bothered me the most: that he knew the appropriate time to use the phrase or how he said it with such gusto. Big F, little f, what begins with F?
Little Ears, Big Mouths
Just when we think no one is listening, our kids will say something to make us realize we are NEVER alone. Ever. My daughter asked if she was the inspiration behind Kids These Days children’s swimwear. I explained that I previously had difficulty finding age-appropriate bathing suits for her when she was little. I wanted her to look her age and not grow up too fast, so yes, she was my inspiration. “So, if I was your inspiration, do I get some of the profits IF you ever make money?” OK, smarty pants, time for a Mommalie.
“Say that again and I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”